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What do you do when your fresh out of a relationship, well a month or so out, of a 3 year relationship and your really into someone who at times is really into you but at other times seems distant? The girl in question has an ex whom she is trying to be friends with but is still in love with. I know I should give it up and let it go but I really like her. I'm so torn between just telling her that we cam only be friends and just completely cutting her off. I want her. In the worste way but I find myself falling hard. Oh the dilemmas I put myself in.

ever felt like a rebound way later than you should. I really shoulda known the truth but I was all caught up in liking her. I'm a firm believer rebounds are for the NBA not regular people. Lame ness...... :-(

So I come home from work at 7am, I work the graveyard shift, and there is a strange guy in my spare bedroom. One of my whorish ex girlfriends fuck buddies I'm sure. I am doing everything I can not to choke him to death and throw his dead body on top of her sleeping ass. Yes her name is on the lease but how fucking disrepectful can u be. This is twice now, that I know of. The tenacity of her to let him stay here blows me away. It doesn't suprise me though. I won't give it to her. Pathetic little whore. FUCK!!!

Its been a long month. Lots of ups and downs. Sleepless nights...well sleepless days considering that I work third shift. I. Still searching for that confidence that forever has illuded me. Maybe one day ill find it and hang on to it. Maybe ......

11/8/08